Sometimes with the holiday season arriving, a feeling of gloom descends upon us. When everyone around you is laughing and smiling and enjoying the holiday spirit, you might be finding yourself at home wrapped in a blanket not wanting anyone around you.

Sometimes it starts with occasional feelings of sadness, but as the days, weeks and months go by, that sadness can deepen its hold on you. Eventually going to work and being at family events becomes a chore that you dread. Soon that spark of life within you starts to fizzle out and become dormant and the darkness descends all of the time. 

This is depression at its finest! How do I know? 

Well, I’ve experienced it firsthand. Those closest to me know that my dear husband passed away at age 50 in 2014. So, you might think that my depression was associated with his passing.

It wasn’t.

My depression began earlier and in 2009, I was clinically diagnosed to have major depression. 

How could that have happened when seemingly my life was grand. I had a loving marriage, two children who did great in school, a successful business that I was running with my husband, friends surrounding me, two dogs, and a beautiful home. 

So why was I down in the doldrums with depression?

I could not point to any one event that took place in my life. It was frustrating because I felt that if I could just know why I was feeling that way, then I could fix it.

My serious depression grew worse each day and over a 4-month period, I found myself avoiding the office and confined primarily to my bedroom and bed. I was sleeping an inordinate number of hours.

My zest for living dwindled and I found myself wishing my heart would just stop so I did not have to face another day of misery.

My road to self-recovery began when my husband shipped me to my mother’s home and I began to talk about my depression. When I finally began to open up, which was not easy, I found myself starting to feel slightly better. My mother made it a safe place to talk and I discovered that other family members had also experienced extreme depression.

People who have depression are very good at hiding it. Unless the person shares it, it usually goes unnoticed by others—however, those who have deeply experienced the depression signs might take notice.

No one around me knew I was experiencing clinical depression, in fact, I did not know that’s what I had because I never had experienced it previously.

I’m thankful that my husband cared enough to remove me from the situation, even though he personally could not relate to what I was going through.

My road to recovery took time. It wasn’t until I became a Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Quantum Energy Master, that I understood my depression was centered around not being connected to my soul-self, my inner source. This is the higher part of you that is with you always. 

I’ve since learned how to tap into my subconscious, through my hypnotherapy work, to discover answers as to why this showed up in my life. Some might say that it was genetic because other family members have also experienced the same thing.

I know now that is not true. Yes, my genes might have this capability just like when cancer runs through a family, but the expression of depression is only turned on if I align with this low level of energy. All emotions and feelings are a form of energy that courses through the body. I’ve now learned how to feel this energy form and to let it go from my body. This is being an energy master of my body.

I did not go looking for depression and I was not consciously focused or worried that I might get it—I had never experienced it before–so it was not in my mind at all. 

What was happening leading up to my diagnosis, was that I wasn’t feeling good about my body weight. As I focused on my unhappiness with myself, this began to manifest into serious depression. I did not know this at the time and it has taken years to uncover, but now I know my trigger.

For people struggling with depression, it is important to understand your triggers.

Most people who go through serious depression find themselves living with it the rest of their life. So, knowing the triggers and knowing how to pull yourself back out of a downward spiral are key to managing your life with depression.

Also, understanding that you don’t have to live with it and you can learn to let go of this emotion as soon as it rears itself, is very empowering.

It takes practice and it takes self-reflection. It takes doing some inner work and it takes being bold to talk about it with others around you. Even if you feel others won’t understand, just opening up the topic of conversation is therapeutic to you. You might even discover that others around you, who have been hiding it themselves, have been dealing with the same thing.

If you feel you might be experiencing depression, then I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you shift from those dark days back to light. I know that you have no energy when you are in deep depression and just brushing your teeth is a tremendous effort. Pulling yourself out of depression is an act of self-love.

Give yourself the best gift you can give yourself during this holiday season…self-love and compassion and the start of your road to regain your happiness. 

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